Friday, July 07, 2006
What would I do without...
...Music??? ^^ Just a random thought. Doesn't matter what language it's sung in, music is still music, and it's beauty is universal. ^^ I'm just in a good mood today, probably since I've been nodding my head to tunes since 4 hours ago, typing notes. (poor notes, I think I didn't type them very well while tapping my foot...) Haha, while typing this paragraph, F.I.R. is playing on shuffle. It'll change come next paragraph~
Yesterday, I kinda sprained something in my thigh exercising, bleah. I can almost feel those rusty joints screaming. I wanna go to the gym, but then again, I'm too lazy to get out of the house >.< My clothes have finally dried!!! Ahahahaha *rubs hands in glee* but I ran out of hangers... Mixed blessing, argh. Good thing though, looks like rain today in Melbourne. Oh, before it leaks out of my brain. went to Myers yesterday with my cuz (she drove). There was this big sale (we went to the Westfield one) and all these people were carrying Myer bags. Yeesh. In the end, I bought a quotable quotes mug and a keychain for $10 in all. Luckily, since my cup (former) was cracking and getting chinks in the clay??? Porcelain??? =_=
Sigh. Reading Huiyun's blog about failing and all that, I suddenly feel so detached from life in Singapore...like I'm an outsider looking into the house I've been living in all my life, and finally noticing all its flaws, and all its beauty. The Singapore part of me hasn't died, I feel as if it's just taken leave (sick leave? pregnancy leave???). The stress my friends feel isn't here with me anymore, though it used to be. Gah. I don't know HOW I feel. Ok, how about an operating surgeon feeling detached while cutting a close relative open... ... ...
I'm feeling very cheem today, so if you don't like it you can stop reading here, because I'm musing to myself: Looking at all the overseas students on the trams and buses and in the university, and listening in on their remarks, I hear that unnatural twang of the Aussie accent tangled together with their own native accents. Maybe even warping the English. I don't know. I don't want to put up pretenses either, but it's so HARD. SO hard. Everyone around me (it seems) talks that way, as if...embarrassed? Of their own native slang... I'm easily pressured by peers, and half of me wants to go with the flow, fit in, blend in, camouflage, fade into the background, because it's so easy that way...but the other half is screaming to keep itself from being smothered, telling me NOT to blend in, NOT to be meek and submissive, telling me to STUFF EVERONE ELSE. I find myself constantly being pulled this way and that, and in class, one half whispers "Stay down. Don't talk, or else everyone else'll notice you and think you're weird..." while the other half goes "For goodness' sake, speak up! No one's gonna curse you or anything. Stop being so weak and indecisive and self-conscious! You suck!!!"
+_o
Even If'Cause even if the sun came tumbling down
You light the ground I walk on
Even if the moon fell out the sky
You light the ground I walk on
No matter what I turn into, I'll always follow Jesus.
...is what I said. Savvy?
4:07 pm
friends
June 2006