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Welcome to The Most Awesome-est Place on Earth
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Word Vomit

I'm down with a cold. RAWR. The only decent thing that's happened to me all week is Ratatouille. TT_TT

And I have this RANT that been fermenting inside me for such a long time I feel I'm about to burst, so I really really have to blog about it.

_START_

Look, I know I'm stupid. I know most of the time I say the stupidest things. I'm forgetful. I'm blur. I speak without thinking about what I'm going to say. I mistake some things for others. I remember things wrong. I panic for no reason. I do silly random stuff that most normal people won't do. I AM A BLUR, EXCESSIVELY THICK-HEADED SPOILT USELESS BRAT AND I AM VERY AWARE OF THIS FACT.

BUT PLEASE WILL YOU ALL STOP LOOKING DOWN ON ME.

Not everything I say deserves to be scoffed at. Not every memory I recount is wrong.

It has just come to a point where I feel as though I'm being JUDGED by EVERYONE.

It just sometimes hurts SO MUCH when what I say gets dismissed. JUST LIKE THAT. And I don't say a word and smile and laugh and act as if nothing is wrong, but it's times like these that I feel smaller than a gnat, even more insignificant than a piece of discarded chewing gum.

Is it so wrong to be naive? Is it so wrong to make lame comments? Is it so wrong to BE ME?????????????

Because I'm SORRY. THIS IS WHO I AM. SO RIGHT NOW I AM APOLOGISING TO ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE BEEN OFFENDED BY WHO I AM AND MY VERY EXISTENCE ON THIS F***ING PLANET.

_STOP_

Whew. Maybe it's just my cold working up. I don't know. Such a mouthful, right? HAHA. When I mean fermenting for a LONG time, I mean LONG time. I've had years and years of this kind of experience and today I'm just letting a bit out. Cuz I'm sick and sick people are allowed to wallow in self-pity.

Plus I have an Op-Ed to type and a presentation to do, and my head is killing me and my nose is trying to burrow into the other side of my skull.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me be able to sleep tonight.

PLEASE. ONEGAI.

:'(

...is what I said. Savvy? 5:58 pm